Taking the Lead

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I’m not good at putting myself out there. At least, not in social situations. Public speaking? Not really a problem for me. Small talk? So, so hard.

I struggle to take the lead. I often wait for others to make overtures by striking up conversation or putting out an invitation. It’s a good way to avoid rejection, but not a good way to make and build friendships. In college, socializing was practically automatic, but not anymore. That’s why I’ve been challenging myself to step it up more often and make plans. Often, my friends and acquaintances seem really pleased that I asked them to coffee/lunch/a movie/a party and I realize that they’re not avoiding me. They are just really busy, like I am.  Most nights, I just want to come home from work, don my pajamas, and zone out with TV. And I think that’s true for a lot of us. But when I do make an effort, it can leave me feeling energized, happy, and grateful to have such cool friends.

That’s why I finally took the first step and invited some folks to join my short fiction book club. I’m kinda nervous that it will never get off the ground (and that they will all think it’s totally lame) but I know that if I never put out the invitation then it definitely won’t happen.

Sometimes you just have to cannonball into the deep end of the pool, right?

Today I’m grateful for: my emergency savings fund. Better than putting unexpected expenses a credit card, right?

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